


The Morbs

by writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle (twoandahalfslytherins)



Series: Convenient Group of Femslash Fics [14]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Depression, F/F, Modern AU, Right?, same 'verse as Anti-Party, the and sign means it focuses on the relationship but isn't shippy, though you don't need to have read that one to read this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9318362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoandahalfslytherins/pseuds/writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle
Summary: Taking a risk, Angelica probed gently, “You want to talk about it?”Eliza’s exaggerated sigh answered that question. Surprisingly though, she powered through it. “I just- have the morbs, you know?”





	

Angelica took a moment to shift her bag before ringing the doorbell. Stood there waiting patiently for someone to come to the door. Of course, she had a key to her sister’s home, but considering why she was there, it felt appropriate to be invited in. 

Something that proved to be a good idea when Maria stepped outside instead of beckoning for her to come in.

“I’m so sorry-” Maria rubbed at her face, eyes darting toward the door as if Eliza might appear at any minutes- “I just. You didn’t have to come. I just didn’t know who else to call and obviously I’m just making things worse-”

“You aren’t making things worse, I promise.” Angelica laid her hand on Maria’s shoulder as gently as she could before guiding her toward the swing on the porch. “She just doesn’t want to be a burden.”

It probably didn’t help that Maria looked a few minutes from falling over herself. Far too pale considering her natural glow and even the bun she’d thrown her hair in couldn’t hide that it’d probably been several days since the last time she’d washed it. 

“Because she thinks I’m too weak.” Maria tilted her head, looking up at the roof rather than face Angelica. “She’s always taking care of me and now she won’t let me-”

Angelica interrupted her, not willing to let Maria spiral any further. “Eliza’s always been this way. Believe me, I know my sister like I know my own mind. She’s kind and caring, but she can be rather resistant to letting others repay the favor.”

Once, when they’d been children, Eliza had locked herself in the bathroom rather than let anyone know that she had the stomach bug. Which had seemed ridiculous, considering she’d caught it because she’d taken care of Peggy after Peggy came home from daycare with it.

As they’d grown older, exam week inevitably meant care packages the weeks before and Eliza burying herself in her studies. Always determined to be what everyone needed.

To be enough.

“Let’s get you inside,” Angelica murmured, hoping it came off as soothing. While she was used to playing a part in Eliza’s most recent plot to help Maria- she didn’t actually know what worked best for the woman. “I’ll get you some tea and a blanket. You like raspberry right?”

It took a while longer than she would have preferred to coax Maria inside. To reassure her that no, she wasn’t at fault for her girlfriend’s sudden drop in mood. That being inside the house wasn’t a detriment to Eliza’s health. 

But eventually Angelica was able to get Maria comfortable on the couch. Double checked that Maria had everything she might need before turning her attention to the hallway. Stood there for a moment, hovering in the hallway as she debated the best plan of action.

Because after all, Eliza could be finicky. Too much care too fast would just make her agitated, make her try and shove people out the door. Too little recognition of Eliza’s state would reinforce to Eliza that it was better to try and hide it. That no one had noticed, so she could pretend it wasn’t happening.

Angelica reached into her bag to pull out an orange before knocking on the door. Didn’t bother waiting for a response before opening it, biting back a laugh when Eliza burrowed further beneath her blanket. “I’m fine. I just want to nap. Which I can’t do-”

“No one said you weren’t fine.” Well, no one in the room. Maria might have said otherwise during her panicked phone call, but who could blame her? When Eliza got in her moods, she got in her moods. On top of that, considering where Maria’s moods tended to go- it wasn’t shocking she didn’t know what to do when her usually strong girlfriend spent the week in bed. “I did, however, bring you this delicious orange. And you’re going to eat it, or I’m going to be offended.”

Peggy had started that particular trend of theirs. Would go out to the farmer’s market just to get their favorite fruits and then use all her effort as a bargaining chip. It’d also served as an apology note on more than one occasion. Especially when talking about the argument would be hard. 

“I’m surprised it isn’t fresh squeezed juice,” Eliza grumbled. 

But Angelica would take it, because she said it while pushing herself up to sit. “I don’t know where you keep your juicer and I didn’t want to impose on Maria. I can make it happen though. Do you want juice?”

Eliza snorted. “Fuck off.”

Cheery. Instead of listening, Angelica sat down on the foot of the bed, tossing Eliza the orange before digging for a paper towel in her bag. She’d come prepared with just about everything she could think of bringing, well aware that if she left to grab something she might have lost her opportunity to get her sister to open up.

Thankfully Eliza didn’t complain further. Just used her thumb nail to begin peeling the orange, making it more of a show than it needed to be. So long as she was eating it, Angelica didn’t mind. 

Taking a risk, Angelica probed gently, “You want to talk about it?”

Eliza’s exaggerated sigh answered that question. Surprisingly though, she powered through it. “I just- have the morbs, you know?”

The morbs. A phrase more commonly heard from Peggy, whose mood swings were practically legendary at this point. The few times that Eliza had used it- it’d been pretty serious. Like she had to be in the mud before she admitted that she’d stumbled off the bridge.

One faint silver lining came from the timing of this depressive episode. Eliza was tracked out, no need to try and drag herself to school, no need to force herself to smile for eight hours of the day. Maybe that was why this one was so bad- she’d been holding it in for a while. Letting the feelings build up.

Because they did. Bad feelings built up like gunk or mold, piling on top of each other until they got a good scrubbing.

“You have us, you know that, right?” Angelica reached out to stroke her sister’s leg, the closest thing that she could touch. Felt relieved when Eliza didn’t jerk back. “And I don’t just me and Peggy. Maria’s here, and Lafayette and Aaron would be here in a heartbeat if you said you needed them. Hercules too.”

They weren’t just friends for Maria, Angelica wanted to add. Eliza never had any problem concocting elaborate care rituals for Maria. Didn’t stop to think for a moment that someone might not be there for her girlfriend.

Not stopped to think that they might be there in her time of need, either.

Something that became even more apparent when Eliza shrugged. “I don’t want to drag everyone down-”

“I know you don’t like talking about your feelings.” At least not the ‘bad ones.’ “But your friends can help you without it being Eliza shares time. You seemed to like the cuddle pile we had last year for Maria, why not invite a few friends over for a movie? Recreate that.”

Eliza didn’t seem convinced, so Angelica nudged her leg again. “Getting disconnected only makes the morbs worst, Peggy can tell you that. It’s real tempting to lay in bed, and that’s okay for a day or two. But after that? Each day only makes it more likely that you won’t get up the next.”

Would worry Maria more. But Angelica knew better than to say that. Talking about how scared Maria was wouldn’t help the situation, would make her sister disappear into herself again. “Actually, why don’t we do that movie thing now? Me, you and Maria. We can organize a dinner with the rest of the crew next week.”

Next week. Enough time for Eliza to build up her energy for company without losing the entire point that her friends would be there for her during tough times. 

After one painfully long moment, Eliza nodded. Picked up her peel and paper towel so that she could drop them into the waste bin on her way into the hallway.

Any worries that Angelica had left about whether or not Maria could handle this disappeared when she watched Eliza snuggle her way under the blanket with her girlfriend. Maria didn’t pressure her to talk, didn’t ask what was wrong, just lifted it up so Eliza could join her. Pressed her chin into the top of Eliza’s head, eyes shut as her body sagged with what looked like relief.

Part of Angelica considered leaving on that note. Letting them have this moment. But Eliza opened one eye and grumbled at her that she needed to pick a movie already. And get her own blanket, Eliza wasn’t sharing.

Not that Angelica would have fit, but the comment made her laugh. Well aware of the teasing she would receive, Angelica searched the DVD rack for the latest Annie. Inside Out would have been a little too on the nose, no matter how much Eliza liked children’s movies- but Annie?

Annie, they could work with.

Angelica lifted Eliza’s feet off of the couch, ignoring the grumble that it earned her before scooting under. Took comfort in the warmth of her sister’s body, in how relaxed she was even as the movie started to play.

Above Eliza’s head, Maria caught her looking. Mouthed a quiet ‘thank you’ and Angelica smiled in response, unable to offer any other reassurance without disturbing Eliza. 

Tomorrow she would make the call to Aaron and Hercules, have them get the word out that it was about time for another get together. It would do some good for Maria and Eliza both to see everyone again.

But for the moment? For the moment she would relish in this reminder that despite how stubborn Eliza could be, there was always room for her big sister in her life.

**Author's Note:**

> shhh there is no mental health crisis going on behind the curtain here. The fact that there are back to back fics on mental health is not a sign.


End file.
